“I was thinking it must be really hard to decide not to have a baby.” “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” I replied.To this date it might be the most emotionally intimate moment I’ve ever had with a child. We were in it together, present, aware, grateful… human. I’m not sure how she came to the conclusion. I didn’t ask. It didn’t seem relevant at the time. What mattered is that there was space for her to share and for me to respond, and that we both felt comfortable in the uncomfortable.“
This week’s guest is Rev Chelle. She is a Metaphysical Minister, Family Constellation Facilitator & Clinical Hypnotist with a unique perspective of abortion and the stories it weaves into our families and our communities.
In every episode I read a blog post I’ve written and we follow up with a conversation about the topic at hand and what it means for women and their ability to thrive after abortion. Happy listening and as always feel free to send me your reflections and questions at the PodBlog page on my website.
I was laying in bed reading a book when she walked in. My 12 year old daughter climbed right up on top of me and started chatting. She’s reserved, not as open with me as her sister. I treasure these times when she grabs my attention and we get to connect. “Mom, I found this website. It’s really cool, but it’s sad. It shows numbers, like how many people have been born and die, and how many have had abortions.”
She’s speaking my language.Now I’m all in. Fully present.
With extra caution not to make assumptions I ask “Why is that sad?” and she replies, “Like 300,00 people have had abortions this year already.” And I ask again, “Why is that sad? I had an abortion.” This is when her body language shifts. She knew, but she didn’t really know. It’s been laid in front of her in multiple ways, but she was clearly still in the processing stage. This was her way of opening the door again. This was an opportunity to get some new clarity. And so we keep talking, she hopes she’s not one of the 1 in 4 who will have an abortion in her life and I hope that for her too. I remind her that no matter what she will be ok, we can do hard things. It’s hard for me to stay at her level, I want to go all in. I want to tell her all the things, but this is her path. I’m following. She’s in the lead.
Her sister now 15, was also 12 when I had my abortion. It strikes me that this might be the age when they are ready to have these hard conversations. I remember it, almost like it was yesterday. Then, I was in bed still bleeding after my abortion. She laid down with me and I asked her, “Do you want to know why I’ve been in bed?”
To learn more about Rev Chelle and her services visit:
The Strength of My Soul by Sharon Jamison
It Didn’t Start With You By Mark Wolynn