Sunday Night Sessions

The genesis of my healing work is Hypnosis.  So, as an Advanced Certified Clinical Hypnotist, I’m going back to my roots to offer group hypnosis sessions aimed at helping you with the way the pandemic is affecting your body, emotional regulation, and sleep habits.  

 

ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT IS

Well, these are certainly interesting times.  

Half the world is experiencing a downshift in new COVID-19 cases and deaths, the other half under stay at home orders of varying degrees. 

Here in the US, we are seeing the pandemic take hold of communities, up-end our way of life, create distance between us and the ones we love, jobs shifting to online, or non-existent. 

Parents are navigating homeschooling children and demanding deadlines while they learn to work from home. Healthcare workers are overworked by a system wholly inadequate to handle the impact of this pandemic.   

People are dying.  Life is not normal.  It may never get back to normal, whatever that is or will be.  

I don’t mean to sound so bleak, but acceptance is key to moving forward. 

I have spent the last few weeks moving between a variety of emotions.  What I have noticed most is the way my body is responding.

HOW IS YOUR BODY RESPONDING? 

I have felt hypervigilant, on guard, unable to relax. My sleep habits have been irregular. One night I’m ready for bed at 7 pm, then next I’m wide awake at 3 am. I constantly feel a pressure in my chest, a weight in my shoulders, a slight ache in my head. I feel dysregulated, my brain is foggy.  

I know I am not alone.  

It’s understandable that many of us are experiencing a wide range of emotional imbalance, resulting in an overworked nervous system.

Maybe you’re super calm because your norm is chaos and you have perfected being calm in the storm.  This too is an imbalance in your nervous system masking as coping.  

Perhaps you have been overeating, drinking to excess, insert vice here…  It’s understandable. It’s crazy right now and you are trying to cope. No judgment. 

There is a ton of collective grief, anxiety, anger, frustration, uncertainty, fear and a whole boatload of other emotions. 

All of them valid. 

HOW WAS I COPING?

I spent some time feeling a bit guilty because I wasn’t jumping on the front lines offering services to help clients.  No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn’t even conceptualize how to show up. I was shut down. If we are talking about the way we respond to trauma as either fight, flight, freeze or fawn. I was rotating between flight and freeze. 

I didn’t want to talk to anyone, do healing work with anyone, or talk about healing work… Most of the time, I just wanted to lay in bed and binge-watch Law & Order, SVU.  And believe me, I did lots of that.  

I’m glad I did that. I’m glad I honored what I needed at the moment.  

I had to get centered before I could even step into the arena to help others.  But I’m solid now. I’m well and I want you to be well also.  

THE OFFER

The genesis of my healing work is Hypnosis.  So, as an Advanced Certified Clinical Hypnotist, I’m going back to my roots to offer group hypnosis sessions aimed at helping you with the way the pandemic is affecting your body, emotional regulation, and sleep habits. 

Each Sunday night for the next four weeks, you can attend an online group hypnosis session.  

I’m calling these sessions Sunday Night Sessions.  Sessions will be held from 8 to 9 pm Central time.  

I am holding the sessions at a time I anticipate you to be relaxing for the evening, maybe even preparing for bed.  If you are inclined you can even listen to the session as you fall asleep for the night. The suggestion at the end of the session will allow you to fully wake up when your body is ready to do so. That could be when the session is over, or later in the night or even the morning. The point is to allow your body to relax and rest.  

This will help in regulating your nervous and endocrine system.

My goal is to offer you a reprieve from the collective stress you are feeling and give you an opportunity to have a deeply relaxing experience to help in the following ways…

April 19th – Balance your nervous system

April 26th – Create an anchor for calmness when you are feeling overwhelmed

May 3rd –   Help you experience regular, deep, satisfying sleep

May 10th – Help you maintain emotional balance. 

THE COST

This series is a PAY WHAT YOU CAN event.  

 What does that mean?  It means that you pay what you can, what you can afford to, or what you are led to. 

The minimum amount is $1.00.  The max is any amount you feel led to pay for the series.  The amount you choose to pay at registration is the amount for the entire series.  

HOW DOES IT WORK?

At checkout, the price is set at $1.00, you simply change the quantity to match the amount you wish to pay.  If you choose to pay $1.00 your quantity is 1. If you choose to pay $50, the quantity is 50.  

If you are not able to pay the minimum, no worries.  Please complete the contact form below to request a fee waiver, no questions asked, no explanation needed. I trust you know your needs and you don’t have to disclose them to me. I don’t want cost to be the reason you don’t attend.  

If you believe this series can support you during this time, I would love to have you join me for the next four weeks. 

To confirm your spot follow these steps

 

  • Read the Group Hypnosis Disclosure & Waiver of Liability below
  • Under the picture to the left, or above if you are on mobile, you will see a quantity box
  • Change the quantity to your desired number, matching the amount you wish to pay
  • Hit “Buy Now”
  • In the bottom right of your screen, an icon that looks like a purse will appear with the quantity you choose. Click it. 
  • Complete the registration by checking out.
  • You will receive an email with a flyer thanking you for your registration. 
  • Within 24 hours you will receive further instructions for the sessions.

Group Hypnosis Disclosure Form & Waiver of Liability

By my registration for the group session, I consent to this agreement.

You agree to release Michelle Dowell-Vest of any responsibility from this group hypnosis session(s).

At no time will Michelle Dowell-Vest attempt to provide medical or mental health therapy.
You affirm that hypnosis is appropriate for you and does not conflict with existing medical or psychiatric treatment. Always seek out and follow the advice of your physician or another professional medical practitioner before considering alternative treatment.

I understand there are some conditions for which hypnosis is not a good fit and should not be utilized. These conditions include (and are not limited to): Schizophrenia, pathological personalities, psychosis (including substance-induced), senility, dementia, brain trauma, cognitive deficiencies, epilepsy, narcolepsy, suicidal tendencies, serious heart conditions, extremely high/low blood pressure, elderly/frail, currently taking medications/substances that cause drowsiness.

I understand that if I am, in any way, unsure if hypnosis would be a good fit for me, that it is best to consult my medical doctor prior to participating in hypnosis. Also, if pregnant (especially in the first or second trimester), I will also consult my medical doctor prior to participating in hypnosis.

I understand that by signing this document, I am accepting full responsibility for monitoring my health for this and any future group hypnosis sessions. Should any of the aforementioned conditions present themselves in the future, I understand and agree that I shall not participate in any future sessions without first consulting with and receiving expressed consent from my health care provider.

I have read and understood the above Release of Liability agreement.

By my registration for the group session, I consent to this agreement.

No warranty is given, expressed or implied, for satisfactory results from your hypnosis session(s).
Methods Used The Hypnosis Practitioner employs hypnosis techniques that are designed to facilitate the client’s quest for self-improvement and relaxation.

Do You Have Questions?  Do You Need A Fee Waiver?

2 + 13 =

What is Family Mapping – Video

When the pieces of your map are staring up at you, begging to be seen and acknowledged, a powerful shift begins within you as you start to connect the dots.  You begin to see and, most importantly, feel your way through and out of the patterns you have long needed to connect.

Family Mapping is the tool I use to help connect the dots from the reason we are in a session to their origin. On its surface, it’s the intake process for any new client. But it’s so much more than that. It’s the delicate, specific questions that guide you to the root of your current issue.

It’s less the telling of your story, and more my attunement to the language you use to answer questions about your family.

In Family Mapping, we use The Core Language Approach.

The Core Language Approach gives us the clues and maps us back to your Core Trauma in the form of emotionally charged words and sentences.

Watch this video and learn more about the tools I use to help you End the Cycle o Your Mother Wound.

How to find me online:

You can find me on Facebook 

You can find me on Instagram

My website is
https://www.RevChelle.com

Articles mentioned in the video:

Becoming Body Aware

Do You Carry A Mother Wound?

It Didn’t Start With You (Book)

My Other Videos

My Group Work:
Ending The Cycle of Your Mother Wound .

Join my Facebook Group

I am always available for consultation and you can book a free consultation on my website. www.RevChelle.com

Ending The Cycle Of Your Mother Wound Looks Like…

This lonely feeling is me, still holding a portion of my relationship with my mother as her not being available for me.  She was so lost in her own life, her addiction, and her survival that I often found myself alone and regularly removed from her care. 

Last weekend I traveled to Ottawa, Canada, to complete my final in-person training with my Family Constellation mentor, Johanna Lynn of The Family Imprint Institute. It was fabulous, and I finally got to enjoy some actual Fall weather.  

I came home emotionally full but also exhausted. I spent Monday resting and rejuvenating myself, as I understand the importance of self-care. A training of this magnitude wouldn’t be complete without an opportunity to integrate it into my actual life. Learning to facilitate Family Constellations isn’t just a theory but a constant integration of my own healing as a way to deeply understand how to work with clients. 

My work’s focus is Mother Wound healing, so of course, my own personal healing is mostly from that lens. My focus over the last year has been healing my own Mother Wound; Both as a daughter and as the mother of a daughter with a Mother Wound. I’m proud of the work I have done. I wanted to share a personal story about what this work looks like in real life and how it can profoundly affect the lens in which you view the world around you. 

I wrote this last Monday…

This morning I found myself hurt, feeling alone, and like a little girl who had been told by her mom to go away because she was busy.

But in reality, I’m a 45-year-old married woman who was lying in bed with her wife, reflecting on a trip I had just taken, when my wife was distracted by something that shifted her attention.

A year ago, I would have reacted differently. I would have gotten up, huffed and puffed and decided for the rest of the day that my wife isn’t interested in anything I’m doing. I would have settled into rejection and being the victim of her distraction. That was my familiar place. 

Instead, I stopped and asked myself where I am feeling this in my body. 

My attention was drawn to the pit of my stomach. It felt empty, and a bit depleted. From where was this coming? What other time in my life had I felt like this, specifically as a little girl, because that is the emotional place I returned to?

It came to me. This lonely feeling is me, still holding a portion of my relationship with my mother as her not being available for me.  She was so lost in her own life, her addiction, and her survival that I often found myself alone and regularly removed from her care. 

To put it mildly, she lived a life distracted away from her kids.

I realized how often I do this. Choose partners who are preoccupied, who aren’t focused on our life together in healthy ways, and who I ultimately leave. This pattern is me reliving what I did not receive as a little girl.  

Now, my marriage isn’t anywhere close to following this pattern. My wife is very involved and connected. But we do both have busy lives, and sometimes time can slip away from us. 

The being distracted away from me was what felt familiar. That is what sat in my body memory, and has unconsciously influenced my relationships for most of my life. I have learned to turn inward because the resolve for this was my mine alone. It was between my body memory, the way I held my mom in it, and my new understanding of my family system. 

So, I lay there, cried and grieved for the relationship that never will physically be available for my mom and I. I leaned into the image I had built of her. I believe she would have been there had she had more of what she needed. I don’t hold the anger anymore. That’s too heavy a bag to carry.

I placed my arm around myself and pulled my inner little girl closer. I told her how much she mattered, how loved and seen she was.

Then I committed to her that I would speak my needs directly. If I wanted some time or a hug from my wife, then that’s what I would say. I would be clear about my needs as an adult and not filter them through the wounded little girl in me, because I’m healing that little girl.  

And I did. I asked my wife to hold me for a few minutes before she started her day. It led to a deeply healing conversation that we needed to have.

I spent the day relaxing, reflecting on the weekend,  not in an emotional spin, replaying old traumas. 

And so that is what Ending the Cycle of Your Mother Wound looks like; Being able to connect the dots from your life circumstances to the unconscious narratives that run so much of your life. Then, using that understanding to address the root cause, allowing you to move forward in a resolution.

This is an example of the work we will do in my new group healing experience. Ending The Cycle of Your mother Wound. to learn more about how this work can deeply impact your life, book a free consultation with me below.  

 

Becoming Body Aware – Video

We magnify our emotions by fearing them. When they remain in us, stuck in our bodies, we imagine them more significant than the perfection of our body’s mechanisms to live, survive, and thrive.

Becoming body aware helps you learn how to trust your body and its ability to resolve what lays beneath the surface.

Emotions are normal and natural. They are meant to be felt, processed, and metabolized at the moment they happen. However, when you experience trauma, the normal process of expressing emotion can be shut down, trapping your response and emotion inside your body. It becomes body memory.

If left unprocessed, it sits there, in your body, it becomes the filter from which you view and orientate to the world.

I have created this video for you to start getting familiar with your body and how it stores emotion.

You will soon see how capable you are of identifying, sitting with, and then resolving your stored emotions.

 

Articles mentioned in the video:

 

Becoming Body Aware   Full Article

Do You Carry A Mother Wound?  

What Is Family Mapping? 

What Is A Family Constellation? 

 You can find me on Facebook 

You can find me on Instagram

I am always available for consultation and you can book a free consultation on my website. www.RevChelle.com

 

 

 

Download Your Body Holds Your Mother Wound, A guide to understanding how your body holds both your Mother Wound AND your healing.

Do You Carry A Mother Wound- Video

I often say, You can hold onto what you did not get as a child, or you can heal. You can’t do both.

 

Join me today as I talk about why I chose Metaphysics as my spiritual path and how I became a Metaphysical Minister.  

 

Do you carry a Mother Wound? Our first love relationship is with our biological mom. It’s our earliest understanding of connection, trust, and commitment. The first time we will feel supported or abandoned. It’s how we learn to bond with others. It’s how we learn about boundaries or the lack of them.

When this relationship is imbalanced, it creates a Mother Wound that, when left unhealed, can profoundly and subconsciously affect your relationships, friendships, career, finances, fertility, parenting, and health. In this video I share 5 signs you may be carrying a Mother Wound.

Do You Carry A Mother Wound?  Full Article

Becoming Body Aware 

What Is Family Mapping? 

What Is A Family Constellation? 

Ending The Cycle of Your Mother Wound

You can find me on Facebook 

You can find me on Instagram

 

 

 

 

What Is A Family Constellation?

The Orders of Love are the universal laws of the family system. When our family’s relationships do not follow the order, love does not flow, and the family system is interrupted.

Family Constellations is the mechanism to set the systems in order

 

In the article titled, What Is Family Mapping, I shared the process for connecting the dots from your life issues to their origin in your family system. It’s a process that can provide profound insight and context for some of your deepest struggles.

So, what’s next? How do we take what we learned from our family map and bring it to a resolution? The answer is Family Constellations.    

We Exist In Systems and With Order

The universal system of collective consciousness, our global system of earth, the system of our country of origin, the country in which we now live, the state we live, our place of employment, our friendships, but most importantly, the families for which we belong; These systems operate under a morphic field that share a consciousness.  It’s within this field where healing happens.  

Within systems, there needs to be order. The Orders Of Love as given by the founder of Family Constellation work, Bert Hellinger, is guided by five fundamental principles:

  • Everyone belongs.
  • There can be no exclusions in your family.
  • Order of precedence – those that come first are honored first.
  • Parents hold a higher position of importance than children. We honor them by leaving what belongs to them, with them. 
  • Everyone must own their fate.

There are many more in the complete Orders of Love list, but these are the most profound, especially for addressing your Mother Wound. 

Body Check-In

As you read that list, are you drawn to any particular response or feeling in your body?  If so, where does that feeling sit in your body, and what are you feeling? Pay attention to those body responses as you move through this. For more on understanding the role your body plays in all of this, read Becoming Body Aware.  

Constellations Vary In Style

Family Constellations is an exercise that takes what is happening within the family system and brings it out into the open for resolution. Constellations can be done one on one and in groups. They can occur in person or virtually via platforms like Zoom or Skype. Most of my clients and groups are online, so I have gotten pretty creative in forming constellations in unconventional ways. 

No matter how you experience a Family Constellation, you will experience a profound shift within your family system.

There are a few styles of Constellation work; I’m going to share the style from which I work in private, in-person and virtual sessions. 

Forming The Constellation

After we complete your family map, I would ask you to show me how what we just uncovered sits in your heart, in the inner image you hold for your family members. 

If we are on a virtual call, I would ask you to grab a few books to serve as representatives for the issues and people for which we are working. Inevitably, the books you choose are always somehow tied to the issue at hand. It’s like the energetic field guided you to those books and they fit into the story perfectly. Perhaps the title reminds you of your mom, or a large book represents the size and weight of the issue.

If we are working in an in-person session, I use foam mats that serve as place holders for the people and issues with which we are working. 

Below is an example of a client session working through her Mother Wound. 

We’ll call her Amy. 

Keep in mind,  the Orders of Love say that care flows from parent to child.  When a child has to care for their parent, the order of love is disrupted, love doesn’t flow properly and the family system is out of wack.   When the family system is out of wack, we experience issues in our life as a result.  

During Amy’s mapping session, we saw that she was experiencing a Break In The Bond and Merge with her mother. This was due to her mother’s chronic depression. I asked Amy to place the mats in relation to how she viewed her relationship with her mom. 

This is what she presented.  

 

  

Mom is the blue mat, and Amy the yellow. The jagged edges represent the front of the person.  

Body Check-In

Imagine you were standing this close to anyone. Imagine, in your body, how that would feel to you. Would you feel crowded? Not able to breathe? Feel like your boundaries were violated or that you didn’t even have space to develop boundaries? Would you feel too close to this person’s essence, energy, and emotions? Would you want to move far, far away?  

Probably.  

Yet, this represented the relationship between Amy and her mom to a tee. As she stood there looking at her mom, she felt the weight of the relationship. It’s like she saw it for the first time. 

Shifting Paradigms 

With the information from her family map, we knew that mom was rejected by her mom, who herself, was mothered by a deeply wounded woman. This mother wound was deep and generational. Amy’s mom caught all of her mom’s rage and anger, and that turned into a life long battle with depression. When she gave birth to Amy, she was an empty well with almost nothing to offer. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t show up emotionally prepared to parent Amy in the way that any little girl should be.  

 Mom locked herself away for hours a day. At a young age, Amy learned to be close to mom by taking care of her. Making sure she had everything she needed to feel happy. That’s a lot of weight to carry as a child. She learned that love meant overextending yourself to make sure everyone’s needs are met, even to your peril.  

The weight of Amy’s childhood was manifesting in her life as an adult. After failed relationships, and extreme people-pleasing, she found herself depressed and leaning on her own children for comfort. She saw the cycle starting to repeat and wanted it to stop.  

Amy’s core complaint was her own depression and that she didn’t understand why her relationships failed when she gave so much.  Her core descriptors led us to her Mother Wound of having to care for an emotionally unavailable mom, where we discovered her core trauma of over giving to feel love and connection. 

The Work

I asked her to move her mat back to a distance where she could start to feel her own feelings again and then to stand on the mat. As she found that place, we checked in on how her body was feeling, allowing time and space for processing what was coming up. This is an important part of this work.  

Body check-ins and awareness are what help you resolve the body memory that fuels so many of these repeated patterns. Our core trauma lives in our bodies on a cellular level, and it has to be addressed and resolved, or this work is in vain. Yes, you have to feel your feelings.   

As she stood there, looking at the mat that represented mom, she was able to start to separate her feelings from mom’s. She could see the way forward. Her Family Map and the initial placement of how she held the relationship, allowed us to know where the work needed to be done. 

Over the next few sessions, we repeated her standing in that space, talking to her mom, experiencing visualization of her and mom bonding as a baby, rebuilding the bond that was broken. 

Amy was able to switch places with her mom and stand in her energy.   

She felt the heaviness that mom carried and was able to extend compassion to mom for not being available to her as a child. She understood the family system and how it affected her. With this deeper understanding, resentment didn’t serve her anymore. She didn’t need it to protect her. So was able to let it go.  

Using healing sentences, she gave back what didn’t belong to her, allowing mom to carry her own fate. She gave back the need to be responsible for mom and vowed to take care of herself first. 

She created inner boundaries that quickly manifested in their actual relationship. She met her inner child and vowed to care for and protect her in the ways she needed. This got rid of the expectation of mom giving what she was unable to provide. This made way for Amy to allow mom to love her in the ways she actually could.

The Way Forward

These sessions with Amy changed her profoundly. She still had to integrate the inner work she was doing with the outer relationship she had with her mom, but she was able to approach it from a stronger sense of self. 

She didn’t need to disappear around mom anymore. She didn’t need to take care of mom’s emotional needs anymore . She could stand in her own strength. Most importantly, she wasn’t leaning on her children anymore; she broke the generational Mother Wound.  The way she approached relationships shifted as she started to care for herself and understand emotional and energetic boundaries.  She felt different, stronger, more resolved and clear about who she was and what she wanted. This was new for her. She had spent her whole life taking care of others.  Now she understood it was time to take care of herself.  From that space, her children felt a shift, they were no longer responsible for their mom, and the generational mother wound was healed. 

The Orders of Love are the universal laws of the family system. When our family’s relationships do not follow the order, love does not flow, and the family system is interrupted. Family Constellations is the mechanism to set the systems in order. 

If any of this resonates with you, I would love to talk with you.

I teach a power series titled Ending The Cycle Of Your Mother Wound

If you no longer want to identify as the victim of your childhood and sincerely wish to resolve the unhealthy patterns and triggers within your relationship with your mother, even if she is no longer with you,  let’s talk.

Book a Consultation Below

 

What Is Family Mapping?

The words you use to describe your parents provides the framework to begin working with the root cause of your issue

 

 

Family Mapping is the tool I use to help connect the dots from the reason we are in a session to their origin. On its surface, its the intake process for any new client. But it’s so much more than that. It’s the delicate, specific questions that guide you to the root of your current issue.  

It’s less the telling of your story, and more my attunement to the language you use to answer questions about your family. 

In Family Mapping, we use The Core Language Approach.  

The Core Language Approach gives us the clues and maps us back to your Core Trauma in the form of emotionally charged words and sentences.  

It’s comprised of four components. 

  • Your Core Complaint
  • Your Core Descriptors
  • Your Core Sentence
  • Your Core Trauma

Your Core Complaint – From your perspective, why are we here? I’m looking for words that have the most potent emotional resonance, unusual symptoms. The words that are the most dramatic and seem to have a life of their own. 

The Core Descriptors – These are the words you use to describe your parents and family of origin. 

  • Tell me about mom. Was she warm and loving, or cold and critical?
  • Or I may say, give me two words that describe your mom. 

The words you use to describe your parents provides the framework to begin working with the root cause of your issue. As the conversation flows, we will move through the generations of your family tree. As Mark Wolynn wrote in It Didn’t Start With You, “Your Core complaint can contain the seeds of the resolution you seek.”

 Your Core Sentence – This is the narrative that runs in the background of your life; it’s the sentence that deepens your despair, describes your worst fear, and causes a physical reaction when spoken. 

  • “I’m all alone.”
  • “I’ll let my family down.”
  • “I’ll lose control.”
  • “It’ll never end.”
  • ‘It’s all my fault.”

Your Core Sentence often leads to a traumatic event in your family. It targets the cause and not the symptoms, and it can provide incredible context as to why you feel the way you do.  

Your Core Trauma – Using the prior three principles, we can generally identify your Core Trauma. Your Core Trauma is the root of what you are trying to resolve and the focus of your Family Constellation session. 

As we talk through all of this, I’ll be creating a family genogram for you. A genogram is a family tree that gives us a perfect map of how and where your Core Trauma originated.  

From there, I can usually place your Core Trauma into one of Four Themes.  

  • A Break In The Bond
  • A Merge
  • A Rejection
  • An Identification

 A Break in the Bond – From the moment of conception, we are wired for tuning into the way mom responds to us. When that relationship is affected in any way, so are we. The ways we can be affected live on a spectrum from minor to profoundly wounding. To find out more read, Do You Carry A Mother Wound? 

 This is the focus of my work in the upcoming series Ending The Cycle Of Your Mother Wound. 

A Merge – A Merge is evidenced by the ways we repeat the patterns of our parents. This can manifest in many ways. Merging is one way we show unconscious loyalty to our parents. It’s also the way we feel close to them. It often looks like taking on or merging with their pain. 

A Rejection – A rejection is just that, a rejection of our parents. This one is delicate because sometimes you have to have physical separation from your parents to keep yourself safe. The beauty of this work is that it’s more about our inner relationship with our parents than the way our relationship manifests in person. You can keep your physical distance while reshaping your inner understanding of your family system, which ultimately leads to compassion for everyone. 

When there is a rejection of one or both parents, you are ultimately rejecting a part of yourself. What you reject, usually finds its way to you in one form or another.   

An Identification – An Identification happens when your Core Trauma originates with a member of your family, not your parents. When a family member is silenced, rejected, and removed from the family, it creates a whole in the family soul. In Bert Hellinger’s Orders Of Love, a fundamental principle is that no one can be excluded from our family soul. When someone is left out of family memories, they live in shameful stories deemed too painful to discuss. An Identification is that story searching for inclusion back into the family.

Throughout the mapping process, the key is for me to intuitively tune into your words and map your family’s entanglements. Some of these entanglements are loving and supportive, and others can be the root of the issues you are facing. 

As I guide you through my questions, I’m listening for words that jump through as we lay the pieces together. It can almost feel like a dance as we ebb and flow between words and the place you carry those words in your body.

 As gentle as the mapping process is, you may feel an influx of emotion as you recall memories or have powerful and life shifting ah-ha moments. When you do, I’ll gently guide you into your body so that whatever you are feeling can be felt and observed.

 You can get a better understanding of how important your body awareness is during this process by reading the article Becoming Body Aware

 When the pieces of your map are staring up at you, begging to be seen and acknowledged, a powerful shift begins within you as you start to connect the dots.  

You begin to see and, most importantly, feel your way through and out of the patterns you have long needed to connect. 

From the framework of your Family Map, we can then move to the next phase in the healing process by bringing the way you hold your core trauma internally into an outer representation. This is called a Family Constellation.  

My focus is on guiding emotionally conscious daughters as they connect the dots from their mother wound to issues in their relationships, career, finances, fertility, health, and parenting.  

Ending The Cycle Of Your Mother Wound  is mostly Break In The Bond work, and it can profoundly shift the framework from which you approach life.   

If this process interests you, I would love to talk to you. Book a consultation below.  

 

 

Note:  The Four Themes and the Core Landuage Approach were developed by Mark Wolynn, author of It Didn’t Start With You.

I was trained in Family Mapping and Constellations by Johanna Lynn, who trained with Mark Wolynn, who was trained by Bert Hellinger, the father of this work. 

 

Becoming Body Aware

Becoming body aware helps you learn how to trust your body and its ability to resolve what lays beneath the surface

Emotions are normal and natural. They are meant to be felt, processed, and metabolized at the moment they happen. However, when you experience trauma, the normal process of expressing emotion can be shut down, trapping your response and emotion inside your body. It becomes body memory.

If left unprocessed, it sits there, in your body, it becomes the filter from which you view and orientate to the world.

Before your Hippocampus (the part of your brain that helps you store and organize memory) comes fully online, your experiences store as body memory. If you experienced any childhood trauma, this is especially helpful for you.

Attuning into your body so that you can identify what you are feeling and where you are feeling it, is pivotal to healing, especially healing trauma.

If your usual response to emotion is to shut them down, they are still sitting in your body. Stuffing emotions doesn’t make them go away; it just delays the healing.

The goal of becoming body aware is to acknowledge the emotion and make space for it to be felt, expressed, and then metabolized. Our bodies are brilliant and know how to move emotions through it. However, most often, we shut it down, afraid of the feeling or of becoming unraveled.

Becoming body aware helps you learn how to trust your body and its ability to resolve what lays beneath the surface.

I have created a few exercises for you to start getting familiar with your body and how it stores emotion. You will soon see how capable you are of identifying, sitting with, and then resolving your stored emotions.

Once you learn this skill and see how powerful you are, this process becomes instinctual. You will become a pro at understanding how you store emotions in your body and how to move them out. You will also be better able to process emotions at the moment they happen, so they don’t get stored in your body.

As you move through these:

Focus on the question or statement and allow it to bring up an emotion connected to a memory.

Focus on your breath and find where that emotion is sitting in your body.

Ask your body where it is, and then listen.
Your body’s answer may be as subtle as you suddenly get an impression or a thought of a particular body part. Trust it; this is your body talking to you.

Once you know this, you can understand how it feels, where it lay, and how and when it shifts.

You may realize that maybe for the first time, you are in a safe place to sit with the emotion for a moment. There is no emotion more significant than your ability to find a resolution for it.

Relax into it and allow yourself to feel it in your body.

Place your hand on that place in your body, then place another hand on your heart.
If the emotion sits in your heart, place both hands there.

Sit with it, allow compassion to come into your hand sitting on your heart. Then visualize sending it to the other place your hand lay. Allow compassion to go into that place.

Sit with it until it feels softer, lighter.

Do this as long as you need to.

Sometimes, those emotions are heavy and need to be physically released.

Perhaps go for a brisk walk and visualize leaving the energy of the emotion in your footprints on the ground.

Perhaps go for a run and visualizing the energy of the emotion leaving your body.

You can also rock back and forth, allowing yourself to ugly cry for the first time. You will notice that you feel lighter as the tears flow and snot runs.

Perhaps take a dance or challenging yoga class.

There are infinite ways you can metabolize the energy of emotion. Your body and your intuition is the best guide to follow.

Memories trigger emotion, emotions are energy, get the energy moving, and you have a new relationship with that memory.

Our bodies play along with us. It keeps our secrets and holds our emotions to protect us. If you are reading this, it’s safe to assume your body is challenging you to resolve what you have been holding.

We magnify our emotions by fearing them. When they remain in us, stuck in our bodies, we imagine them more significant than the perfection of our body’s mechanisms to live, survive, and thrive.

Once we lean in, learn to trust our ability to process and move these emotions, we realize how perfect our internal systems are. They work for us, not in spite of us.

Shifting your internal conversations from, “I can’t feel this or I’ll fall apart.” to “I was created with a perfect emotional regulatory system,” takes you from surviving to empowered healing.

Download my free workbook, Your Body Holds Your Mother Wound.   It’s packed with exercises to help you create the body awareness that is pivotal to Mother Wound healing.

 

If anything in this post resonated with you, book a consultation with me, and let’s talk about it.

Download Your Body Holds Your Mother Wound, A guide to understanding how your body holds both your Mother Wound AND your healing.

Do You Carry A Mother Wound?

Our first love relationship is with our biological mother. 

When this relationship is imbalanced, it creates a Mother Wound that when left unhealed, can deeply and subconsciously affect your relationships, career, fertility, finances, parenting and health

 

 

What is a Mother Wound?

Our first love relationship is with our biological mom. It’s our earliest understanding of connection, trust, and commitment. The first time we will feel supported or abandoned. It’s how we learn to bond with others. It’s how we learn about boundaries or the lack of them. When this relationship is imbalanced, it creates a Mother Wound that, when left unhealed, can profoundly and subconsciously affect your relationships, friendships, career, finances, fertility, parenting, and health.

Most of these lessons are unconscious; beginning in the womb, the lessons lay in our body on a cellular level.  Later in life, they show up as the framework for our relationships, friendships, career, fertility, parenting, and our understanding of money and abundance.

 

Pay Attention To Your Body

As you move forward in this article, if your relationship with mom was complicated, abusive, or toxic, pay special attention to how your body responds to this article.  Allow yourself to feel what your body is saying. That reaction in your body is telling you that there may be a Mother Wound AND  that healing is possible. Our bodies keep our deepest heartbreaks and also react when there is an opportunity to heal that heartbreak.

How do you make the connection between mom and the way that you show up in life now?  Or, how does your relationship with mom affect the way you see life showing up for you?

“But, My Mom was my best friend.” This may be the most obscure Mother Wound, because there was never any doubt that she loved and protected you. But she may have loved you too close, suffocating you, keeping you so close that you are afraid to fly on your own. You might have a hard time defining your own life, boundaries, and space. It may be a challenge to clearly define what are mom’s ideas and what are yours. How has this followed you into other relationships in the same way?

If your relationship with your biological mom didn’t exist or wasn’t loving and supportive, you may feel insecure and needy in relationships. How often has this shown up in your romantic relationships by you unconsciously requiring your mate to fill the void left by your mom?

If mom abandoned you, you might subconsciously create circumstances in your life, career, friendships, etc., that leave you feeling abandoned over and over.

Do you lure love to you by unconsciously giving away too much of yourself?

If you had to tiptoe around mom’s feelings, do you find it challenging to set boundaries, say no, identify and express your needs, or put yourself first? Do you overly involve yourself in the care of others, often to your detriment?

If your relationship with mom left you feeling unworthy, not good enough or that you had to be perfect to be loved, do you also experience imposter syndrome in your professional life?

If mom was overly critical, do you find yourself in relationships with others as a people pleaser or the object of their criticism?

Where are the unconscious loyalties to mom playing out as you repeating the same unhealthy patterns as she? Do you choose the same kind of partner she chose? Do you have health issues like mom?

Do you reject mom? How is that very same thing you reject her for showing up in your life?

If you didn’t receive an abundance of love and support from mom, does this show up as you feeling like you never have enough money, clients, work, friends or always feel a sense of lack or an inability to trust your ability to provide for yourself?

Are your experiencing fertility issues that seem unexplainable to your doctors? It could be directly tied to your Mother Wound.

There are countless ways that your relationship with mom can show up in your adult life; Both in the affirming of our life force and the diminishing of it.  We can own the affirming ways, those are easy to see. It’s the patterns that diminish or take life force away from us that often leave us feeling unable to show up to life in our fullness.

 

We Are Not Going To Blame Mom

This examination of our relationship with mom isn’t about blaming her. It’s about connecting the dots from how issues are currently manifesting in your life, back to its root. Often that root, isn’t even mom.  It’s the way she was parented and the way that grandma was parented.   It’s not personal as much as it is a systemic bird’s eye view into your family. The goal is never blame, but resolution and restoration.

The goal of my paradigm shifting series, Ending The Cycle of Your Mother Wound  is to restore belonging, balance and order within the family system so that love and compassion can freely flow. It’s about healing and acknowledging, not blaming. It’s about restoring mom to her place as a mom, and you to your place as daughter or son.

 

It’s OK To Love Her

I want you to know that it is OK to love a mom that was hard to love. All daughters want to love their mothers.

It’s also understandable that to keep yourself emotionally, and sometimes physically safe, you stayed away from a mom who wounded you. But there will come a time when that weight gets too heavy, and you won’t want to carry it any longer. You will start to become intimately aware of where your Mother Wound keep showing up in other areas of your life.

And so, this is about telling you it’s ok to change your heart and hold her differently in it, no matter how your relationship outwardly manifests.

It is also not about ignoring or excusing the real-life pain you hold within your Mother Wound. This work is about taking your power back, facing that pain, moving it out of your body, nurturing the little girl in you and creating your own space in the world.  It’s time to stop being the wounded little girl, holding the expectation that mom will suddenly give you what she is not capable of giving.

When you heal your Mother Wound, it creates within you, the ability to allow Mom to love you in the ways she can.  You stop being hurt and angry with her and you start to meet her where she is.

Repairing your relationship with mom, even if it only means holding her differently in your heart, could create a massive shift in your life.

 

 

 

What does your Mother’s Mother Wound look like? 

What does it feel like in your body to consider that perhaps your mom came to motherhood with her own set of experiences, trauma, etc. and may not have been equipped to give you all that you needed?

How would the way you feel about your mom shift if you chose to see her as an individual woman, outside of motherhood, who wasn’t equipped to give you what you needed? Was she a woman who came to motherhood with unhealed trauma of her own?  What if you could see her standing before you, holding her unhealed wounds, still bleeding?

Would it shift how you held her in your heart? Would it help you lay down your judgment, anger, and rejection of her?  Would that image open your heart a little to a bridge of compassion between the two of you?

Sometimes, our moms aren’t healthy enough to have in our lives and we have to create physical distance. But how we hold mom in our heart is always our job.

If you had an especially hard childhood, this could be a challenging journey to walk. I know this from personal experience. It means figuring out what is yours and what belongs to mom. It means honoring her as your mom, if for nothing else because she gave you life.

It’s learning to be within your own body and understanding your core self and boundaries.

But it’s a journey that will free you to love yourself deeper, to choose relationships that are good for you, and to experience life in its fullness. It will help restore you as daughter and mom as mom. It will allow you to visualize and embody what a restored relationship feels like in your heart regardless of your outer manifestation of that relationship.  

I encourage you to sit with this and be reflective. To see how and where, as an adult, your Mother Wound shows up in your life.  Then ask yourself what needs to shift within you so that love and compassion can freely flow for your first love, your mom.  And then ask yourself, how and where you need this shift in your life, relationships, career and relationship with money.

Your life will  shift. There is a road forward.

 

 

A Way Forward

Self Paced Workbooks & Monthly Online Family Constellation

Your Body Holds Your Mother Wound is a guide to understanding the way your body holds both your Mother Wound AND your healing

Mapping Your Mother Wound is a self-paced guide to understanding the generational systems and entanglements that created your Mother Wound

Each month I host an online family constellation for those have purchased and are working through the Mapping Your Mother Wound workbook

 

This self- paced Mother Wound healing series may be for you if:

You are self aware 

You approach healing from a holistic perspective

You have a basic understanding of the mind/body connection

You are actively healing from your childhood

You deeply want to resolve the unhealthy patterns and triggers within your relationship with your mother

You are open to a transformational experience that will challenge you to shift the inner relationship between you, your mother, and the stories you hold onto

Interested in One-on-One Sessions?

Step One

Let's talk about how I can support you on the journey to healing your Mother Wound, click below to book a no-cost consultation with me

Step Two

After we talk and you decide this is the best support for you, book your first session with me by clicking below

Step Three

After you have booked your session with me, visit my store to check out our Pay From The Heart Pricing and pay for your session

Abortion, Family Constellations & Compassion

“Women who choose abortion are doing the absolute right thing for their life. It doesn’t mean there won’t be grief, sadness, and even moments of regret. We can acknowledge the emotion and hold space that she still made the right decision.

 

This morning I’m contemplating the need for compassionate care and emotional healing for those who have chosen to terminate a pregnancy. This work is already being done in lots of forms. I wanted to share and serve from the perspective of Family Constellation work.

Because our body autonomy and right to reproductive choice is under such attack, we spend so much time defending our right to have an abortion, that taking time to acknowledge the emotional impact of having one often takes a back seat. We fear that the religious right and those who oppose abortion access will use these conversations as a way to bolster their argument that states that abortion harms women.

Well, I say fuck that.

We can stand in our choice to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason we need to AND embrace whatever emotional response we have to that decision. These two things are not mutually exclusive.

We do not need to choose.

As part of the group healing experience, I am creating called “Ending The Cycle of The Mother Wound,” I address the ways our mother wound affects our fertility.
Part of that conversation is addressing the impact of denying the need for compassionate acknowledgment of the emotional implications of choosing to terminate a pregnancy.

Women who choose abortion are doing the absolute right thing for their life. It doesn’t mean there won’t be grief, sadness, and even moments of regret. We can acknowledge the emotion and hold space that she still made the right decision.

I envision creating a space for women to do just that. To heal the part of them that was affected by their choice while still holding their space in honoring that choice.

From the framework of Family Constellations, it’s imperative to acknowledge the family system. Terminated pregnancies are part of the family system. It’s not at all about the argument over when life begins, but about the ways, a woman embraces herself, her choices, and her path as she chooses to mother.

There is a myriad of reasons women choose to terminate a pregnancy. And like there are many reasons, women also have many responses.

When a woman, for whatever reason, holds her choice with shame, or guilt, or unprocessed grief, it affects the way she can be emotionally present in future pregnancies and ultimately motherhood.

When a mother is not fully present, it can create an imbalance in the family system. This imbalance can be felt within the family soul and even affect the emotional health of her future children.

So, it’s not that the choice to terminate the pregnancy that caused these imbalances, it’s that she was not able to feel her emotions fully and process them in a way that honors her choice.

The goal is to support a woman in honoring her whole self and all of her choices so that she can be fully present when she chooses to become a mother. If we do not honor her emotions along with her choice, we aren’t adequately in service to her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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